~ClearBlack-Sky

Someone who honestly understands who I am and is willing to live with my broken parts and whole parts without trying to 'make them better'. Which is more than I could ever ask for in someone.

Considering that most people I've shown that much of myself to generally run away screaming, this is huge. I sort of feel like I'm not really... worthy? or whatever of this sort of thing. Like I don't 'deserve to be loved' and this should all be a big mistake.

But it's not. I wake up every morning and remind myself that it's not a dream and that all I have to do is look at the things we've written, go over the conversations we've had, the things we've said, to know that it's as real as the hand in front of my face.

And it's like waking up from living in a cloud. It's so refreshing; I can see everything so much clearer now, there's no more film over my eyes. Everything looks different, but not in a bad way. The colors are so much brighter today than they have been in years.

Which sounds emo and cliche as all fuck, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm tired of being classified. I have someone who sees me without all the labels and I really couldn't care less what anyone else thinks.

Which doesn't really lead to the fact that I think I seriously have separation anxiety, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway. I feel like I haven't spoken to my lover in YEARS but it's only been a day. We spoke on the phone yesterday, but seriously. I'm going nuts. I feel really clingy and whiny without that connection.
It kind of very much sucks.

MAJOR sadface. D':